Cabaret crisis: The true price of 1998 Silver Oak double magnum

HONOLULU—I’d like to relay a somewhat embarrassing story that happened a few years ago. And although the embarrassment has faded over the time since, the other participants, as well as those not present at the occasion, find it quite funny and very necessary to not ever let me forget my folly. So this story is a tribute to them, that I may at some point in the future be vindicated from this minor discretion.

It was a slightly overcast evening in Las Vegas when the festivities for a close friend of mine’s bachelor party began. The plan was to take a limo ride around town ending up at one of the city’s premier steak restaurants to indulge ourselves in the fine fare the restaurant had to offer—before cruising the casinos and clubs on the strip. The evening started off well enough with drinks and toasts to the soon-to-be groom.  The limo arrived and we were on our roundabout way to the restaurant.

When we arrived it became my onus, whether it was my idea or that I was nominated is still hotly debated, to order us the wine to accompany our dinner. The confidence of having tasted a plethora of wines in my time, I confronted the sommelier determined to find just the right bottle for the occasion. The written words of the wine list differed from the sommelier’s unending oration—wine-o Robert Parker would have been proud. To get the night moving, I went right ahead and made a bold choice: A nice double magnum that I thought would fit our taste buds and our budget.

Having been seated and with our orders now in the capable hands of the chefs, our double magnum arrives in all its robust glory. (Have you ever seen a double magnum bottle? The thing is huge!) The sommelier decants it into 4 nice decanters. After a couple minutes we taste the wine and our food arrives. The meal goes splendidly. Our food was delicious, wine superb, and the conversation delightful. Everyone agreed that this had been one of the best restaurant experiences anyone had had to date ... until the check arrived.

Upon reading the check, our glorious bachelor’s eyes bulged, his mouth clearly tried to form words that wouldn’t come. I stood up and grabbed the check from across the table, struggled to hold back my 20 ounce porterhouse, and counted the digits.

A 1998 Silver Oak double magnum prices at $2,500.

Combined with our food and gratuity, our grand total amounted to $4,000.

I blurted: “So, it’s $270 dollars a piece.”

It didn’t go over well.

The moral of the story? If you don’t want to be the brunt of wine jokes for the rest of your life please, please read the prices on the wine list before you order. Or for simplicity’s sake let someone else choose the wine.

Cheers!

David Hadway is The Hawaii Independent’s resident chef and operations manager. Fill your mind and your mouth with more food and beverage insights with Remixed Plate. Share your food stories or recipes by emailing .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).